(no subject)

[elinorwise]

And there's the push-pull, the same back-and-forth routine they've been rehearsing their entire lives. Sam just wants to be left to fall apart on his own, but Dean could never allow that, could he? Who are they if Dean isn't trying to take care of Sam and Sam isn't trying to pull away? Sam realizes with a start that he's almost a little resentful of it, that after how many times Dean's made it clear that Sam’s a disappointment, he still won’t step back and let Sam prove that he can make it through this.
“Dean, I’m trying, okay? I am,” he raises his voice again, not yelling, but loud enough that Dean has to hear him. Even if his brother doesn’t listen. “It’s just like you said. The only way out is through, this is through, and I’m gonna get through it, I promise. I’m not giving up. I'm trying.” They’ve had this argument before, they’ll have it again before the Trials are through. Believe me, he almost adds. Just this one time, believe me.

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