(no subject)

[elinorwise]

He dyed his hair black once. Brady dared him to do it. They got box dye and stained the dorm room shower. They both straightened their bangs in their face and wore eyeliner. Sam had been so afraid of being a freak for so long that he hid how much he wanted to play around with this. He felt like he could be a freak and still be connected to others. It still felt like too much overexposure when he’d get mocked about it, and one time he got shoved against a wall, and instinct kicked in, and suddenly the guy was on the ground, and Sam decided maybe he’d pushed it too far. But still, when he made Myspace, he used a picture Brady took when things were better. He has so few pictures of when he was younger, but he remembers this one. He listed his sexuality on the profile as bisexual, and something unpleasant churns in his stomach with the thought.

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