(no subject)

[elinorwise]

Dean can’t move or engage until it’s gone. There’s something so so wrong with him because there’s an empty ache in his chest. He can’t dare to speak. He wants to throw something. He wants to tear into Alastair’s guts now. He wants Alastair alive just so he can hear his breath hitch while Dean twists the knife making Alastair’s entire world just him. He wants to show him just what a good student he is. He wants Alastair to be proud while he screams.
Alastair is gone. Sam killed him. This is a good thing. Everything is okay. 
This is the best-case scenario. Sam and Cas aren’t feeling what he’s feeling. They’re not that twisted. They just see him being hurt. They feel sorry for him, they must. That’s what kind of people they are. They aren’t thinking about torture as praise, and torture as an embrace.
They aren’t thinking of torture as pleasure.
(It’s not how that sounds.)
(Sometimes Dean doesn’t know though, if he can differentiate).

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