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[elinorwise]

Sapphire by sp8ce - сэстиэль, херт/комфорт, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Cage Trauma и прочие мои любимые теги)
Настолько красивый текст, что я в кои-то веки не знаю, какие именно строчки цитировать. Ну, пусть будет завязка: 

He just wants to be purified. That’s what he’s thinking. That’s what he’s thinking when he asks Cas for a vial of his blood. He just wants to be purified.
He knows it’s not all that simple. He can’t unfuck Ruby or get rid of the cravings he has to this day. He can’t unstart the Apocalypse, just halt it and pay the price. He can’t unbeg Lucifer, unencapsulate what that means or the way it pricks across his skin, can’t undo the undulating fire every time the stress chokes him out. It’s all layered and there’s no way to weave all the strands together in his head to ever express how fucked up he is.
But, can he change his blood? Can he just feel clean, now? Is it the only moral thing to try to do?
So he asks Cas for a vial of his blood. And it’s not until Cas agrees without hesitation that Sam realises that maybe he wanted Cas to deny him.

Ладно, вот это еще, потому что на этом месте я внутренне завопила))

He moves to close the space between them again, about to kiss Sam, but Sam didn’t expect him and recoils. He catches himself, however, and kisses Cas fast, chastely, because he can’t stand more right now, but also he can’t deny himself the chance.


“I want to pull your hair,” Cas says, and it’s really left field for Sam, who’s getting whiplash.


“Gently?” he says. Cas nods, and when he puts his hands through Sam’s hair, he’s feather-light, besides a gentle tug and a kiss on Sam’s nose.

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