(no subject)

[elinorwise]

Dean prods a finger into Sam's mouth, squashing his lip against his teeth. He grunts and nods to himself.

"Goddamn, I knew you were angsting. Fuckin' well knew it. Can't even hear you and you still gotta be complicating everything with your emo." He pauses and looks unsettlingly distraught for a second. Sam's reaching out for him before he can remind himself why it's a bad idea, why he needs to stop touching Dean simply for the sake of touching him. "I miss you so much, Sam. Miss your stupid face and stupid hissy-fits when I piss you off and your stupid stupid giant-paws."

"You're lonely," says Sam, feeling hollow and dead in his stomach. 

Abruptly, he wants out of the bed with the stains of dried come and away from Dean who is letting Sam be so selfish and spoilt and downright sick. They lie there in silence and Sam tries to pull himself together because Dean still needs him. And while Sam might be guilty of loving his brother in wicked wicked ways, he also loves him with a fierce purity. 

He stares up at the ceiling and tells himself that he can do this. He can take the necessary step back because he was never meant to have this. He can do this because he -

"For the love of God, Sam," says Dean. "When a deaf man tells you to shut up you know you're thinking too loud."

Оригинал записи на Дыбре