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[elinorwise]

Hanging From A Telephone Wire by sp8ce - PTSD, Cage Trauma, Forced Self-harm, suicidal behaviour, implied/referenced autosarcophagy, Violence, Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Victim Blaming, Dissociation, Burning, Torture, Temporary Character Death.
Тег Psychological Horror вполне точно описывает происходящее; и если я говорила, что хочу знать, что было в Клетке - то вот, это практически ответ. С той разницей, что это не пятый сезон, а двенадцатый: можно вытащить героя из ада, но нельзя вытащить ад из того, кто там побывал. You never left, Sam. You're still in the cage. With me.
Тот случай, когда я бы повысила рейтинг до Explicit и даже, пожалуй, добавила предупреждение про Dead Dove - не то чтобы это помешало мне читать, автор охуенен чешет железной щеткой по всем нервам и лупит молотком по пальцам всем клавишам моей души:

“You deserve this," Lucifer says. It's insidious, soaking into him. He knows -- he knows. "Tell me you deserve this,” Lucifer requests. It’s rote.
“I deserve this,” Sam says. He believes it, too. It was harder to accept, the rape, at first. Torture was neat and made so much sense considering what he’d done, that this was the price for letting Lucifer out. Lucifer made fair points, though. How could Sam genuinely expect a right for his body to not be defiled when he defiled it himself in order to let Lucifer out in the first place? When this is just the cost? But Sam knows he would let anyone do whatever they want to him, if he actually thought it were good, no matter the personal cost. What right did Lucifer have to do this to him?
Lucifer’s arguments against that were very strong, but Sam was never convinced. He could accept he deserved what was happening to him, but not that Lucifer deserved to do it.
It’s partly why he never stopped being so angry at him.
(But he’s letting what’s happening to him now happen, anyway, isn’t he?)
He fantasizes about nothingness. He fantasizes about anything but the disgust.
The truth of the matter is no matter how much he is ruined by it, he’d still prefer being Lucifer’s bitch than the boy king of hell.
It’s only him that’s being destroyed.

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