(no subject)

[elinorwise]

Черт, я почти каждый абзац перечитываю по два-три раза, что-то у sp8ce очень-очень сильно резонирует со мной. Цепляет. Впервые за долгое время мне захотелось вернуться к переводам.
Нелегко было бы, конечно - уж очень хитровыебанный текст. На разных уровнях хитровыебанности, включая авторские опечатки в количестве.
Было бы нелегко. Но блин. Захватывающе.

“It’s okay it’s okay it’s okay. ”
I can’t stop re-traumatising you...  
Cas’s thoughts are indirect, and phrasing turned like a repetition of an echo of something in some corner of Sam’s consciousness. Sam feels like Cas plucked it out for his own means. He’s so overexposed. He knows he needs to be placating, but all his internal reactions are screaming.
“It’s not your fault.”
Sam’s failing at alleviating Cas’s guilt. It makes him feel bitter, petty, manipulative, but he can’t help it because Cas can see inside him. He can see how terrifying losing control of his body is to Sam, what has happened, before, and also, what did happen, after.
I tried not to take any control when you were unconscious. 
Sam paces, and somehow, it helps. It's in a different timezone now, and the sky is painting into deep blue. Life is going forward. Sam can control his steps. Lucifer isn’t in his brain. The ceilings are high with beams of dust in the light between them, and everything’s rustic in a way that actually feels calming and homey. The air smells stale, and Sam’s heart is racing. He keeps pacing.
“Tried?” Sam thinks, trying to make it sound far more nonchalant than he feels. It doesn’t matter. It happened, whatever it was. He feels in love with the world from the way the pine trees seem so peaceful as an intricate detail past a grimy window. Oh, he’s definitely still so clearly high.

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